Friday, May 18, 2012

Healing the Broken Heart in The Quiet Place

The silent burden of a broken heart…we have all experienced it at some time in our lives. It has been said that God can heal a broken heart if we give Him all the pieces. That is certainly true. but the real challenge is to first find all of the pieces, and that is easier said than done. Like shards of a broken glass, the pieces weave themselves deep into our hearts. 

The pathway to The Quiet Place is often bathed in the tears of those suffering the hurt of a broken heart. It is one of our life experiences that if unresolved, can ripple on throughout our lives, affecting each significant relationship in the future. If the woundedness within does not experience the healing that is needed to move on, it is very hard to build trust and intimacy with another. 

Working though the Pain of a Broken Heart 
There is a period of time, when the hurt within, literally takes away the capacity to breathe without pain. The painful ache touches a precious and vulnerable place often unknown to friends and family, but God knows it is there; an icon from an earlier time in our lives. When hurting is the only thing you can feel for a time, it can be a very lonely place. 

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Those who are the closest may encourage you to get over it, to move on, and let it go, but relational hurt most often heals slowly. The struggle can come from close friendships gone awry, but mostly it is forged and cast within the breakdown of intimate relationships; a significant other that meant enough, that the loss cuts deeply into the marrow of our soul. 

“What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Job 3:25-26

The Death of a Dream

We all dread loss. When we focus only upon the things that we count as loses in our lives, we become miserable. When an intimate relationship ends, it is as if a death has taken place, but there is no real shared funeral service to mark it as a place it our past personal history. Relational loss can linger on, and often whispers in the periphery of our minds, with feelings of deep regret, guilt, resentment and sorrow.

It has been said that time heals all wounds, but that isn’t really true. In time, the memory of something painful may dull, but the rasp of its presence upon our consciousness needs only a nudge to awaken its tenacious hold upon our memory. For some, there is the discovery that someone you thought you couldn't live without in your life, becomes someone you wish you had never met. 

Only God can Heal a Broken Heart 
There are countless ways to numb the pain that is within the human heart, and the world has an innumerable array of temporary remedies that simply do not last and never truly heal the hurt within. Only the God who created us knows the intricate and complex nature of inner woundedness in man. Only He can heal us deep within, when our hearts are broken and we are in deep anguish. 

There are many people who suffer through their grief alone, and are unwilling, and resistant to be vulnerable with God, even in the midst of great sorrow. Some blame God for the break-up, feeling that if He loved them He would have prevented the loss.

"In Quietness and Trust is your strength, but you would have none of it” Isaiah 30:15

Opening your Heart to the God who Created you

David was struck with a sense of wonder at the all-knowing depth of God’s insight into the human heart and soul, and wrote in awe the following:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.” Psalm 139:1-3

David put action to that truth, and humbled himself before God to thoroughly search his heart, and reveal to him any unhealthy hurt within.

“Search me O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139:23-24

The Hebrew word “hurtful” in the NASB version, is more literally translated, “…way of pain…” David requested that God explore his heart to see if there might be any, “way of pain,” within him, perhaps suggesting that even he might not realize the existence of a painful woundedness within.

The Pathway to Healing a Broken Heart

When a relationship ends the hurt left behind can be debilitating. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. One must bring the hurtful burden of that loss to God, in order to find a comfort that only He can provide.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”  2 Corinthians 1:2-4 

You must first drive a tap into the Maple tree in order to draw out the sweet sap to make Maple syrup. Likewise we must step forth in faith, and personally tap into that comfort, in order to experience His healing and gentle quietness within. Otherwise we may pray unceasingly, yet continue to experience unrelenting grieving, without any relief from the burdensomeness of the sorrow.
Finding God's Comfort in The Quiet Place

During a time of great distress, David found a secluded quiet place, and communed with God and penned,

“I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”  Psalm 131:2

We have all seen the sweet peace, and contentment that a child often experiences in the tender, nurturing arms of his mother. When you draw near, you can almost hear the infant cooing and purring with satiation and contentment. 

If you are struggling with a broken heart, remember that it takes time to heal a broken heart. Allow yourself time to heal, take responsibility to take care of yourself, work through unresolved issues of forgiveness, and spend devotional time in the Quiet Place.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3



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  2. Recently while updating my Blog, I read your comment regarding the post, Healing the Broken Heart. I apologize for somehow missing an opportunity to share with you that your appreciation for the article means a lot to me. God Bless

  3. Replies
    1. Sorry to be late getting back to you to show my appreciation to you for responding to my post. I trust that the healing process is continuing. John Krohn PhD

  4. I am going through this pain now, and it is all my fault. Thank you for your post

    1. Sorry to be late in responding to this Paul. Hang in there. Each day requires a new kind of strength. John Krohn PhD