Where is this place called Dignity

I wrote this poem as an open and honest testimony for someone who has struggled with a lifetime of severe depression and mental illness. The poem chronicles the difficult journey that he had lived through for many years.


Slowly God has been restoring and healing my friend....
 
Where is this Place Called Dignity?
 
Where is this place called dignity?
There was a time I thought I knew.
It was confidence, a quiet certainty, 
and a sense of pride, yet now it eludes me so.

One strives to gain 
a sense of self,
to be that person 
I was meant to be.
A churning chasm of driven success;
yet illusive sadness engulfed me like a cloud.

Where is this place called dignity?
To once win the praise of others, 
and feel their respect,
Now there is a painful awkward silence,
a shallow Humpty, Dumpty, 
who is already falling...

Now I live with a constant fearful despair.
I have lost all pride and status, and am… alone.
My former life is but a vague aching memory.
I am living with the stigma of Mental Illness.
 

In the hospital, some knew... 
and understood this tortuous detour.
Here I am with fellow pilgrims 
who travel this lonely desolate trail,
for we wear the lonely darkened 
shroud of depression....
We are those who feel... 
the hurt of being treated as... 
not normal. 

Where is this place called dignity?
Am I now a social leper...
One who is shunned because of this 
heavy cloak that I cannot fling away 
into bright sunrise?

To quit at life is to dim the spark
of courage...
I will not give up. 
I must never yield to this death.
"Please Lord fan the embers...
of my feeble faith;
create in me a flame of hope
beneath the shadow
of the Cross"

Where is this place called dignity? 
It resides within my heart 
and it whispers, “I am Here”
It is the undying spark 
that defines me.
It is my tenacious courage 
that hangs onto  

hope....

Where is this place called dignity?
It lives within me as I weep with tears 
like winter rain.
It is within me despite 
the mood altering drugs
that I cannot seem 
to focus without....
how can I embrace my lost self?

But then Jesus has found me...

 

 

With shuffling steps,
I walk this pathway...
I choose to live... and not to die.
I know that I am but a shadow 
of my former self...
or was my former self but a shadow 
of who I really am?

This is my metamorphosis... 
I am now warm clay upon the Potter’s wheel;
I am privileged to reveal His life
through my life.
I am the vessel 
and He is the life within me that shines.

I will travel this pathway to continue my healing;

I will climb my own Inner Everest 

with Jesus as my guide.

For only He can lead me to

The High Places...

I am free...

“Though the fig tree should not blossom
         And there be no fruit on the vines,
         Though the yield of the olive should fail
         And the fields produce no food,
         Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
         And there be no cattle in the stalls,
    Yet I will exult in the LORD,
         I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
    The Lord GOD is my strength,
         And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
         And makes me walk on my High Places.” 

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Never give up hope on someone who is struggling with Mental Health issues.  There is hope...and with God's healing love...there is liberating freedom...

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3